"Nietsche is Pietsche.'"

"The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!"

"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."

"He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples."

"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."

"Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."

"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ``Get the hell off my property.''"

"The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife."

"A wise man first thinks and then speaks and a fool speaks first and then thinks."

"I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement."

"LUMINARY, n. One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it."

"The test of every religious, political, or educational system is the man that it forms."