"What's the point of worshipping a forgiving god if you're just gonna be good anyway?"

"They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for."

"I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent."

"Would I had phrases that are not known, utterances that are strange, in new language that has not been used, free from repetition, not an utterance which has grown stale, which men of old have spoken."

"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."

"I was too green to know that all cynicism masks a failure to cope -- an impotence, in short; and that to despise all effort is the greatest effort of all."

"When a man is wrong and won't admit is, he always gets angry."

"There was a young man of Dundoo, Whose limericks stopped at line 2."

"If you are not a psychiatrist, stay away from idiots. They are too stupid to pay a layman for his company."

"Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies."

"All men plume themselves on the improvement of society, and no man improves."

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes."