"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?"

"The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there."

"All American cars are basically Chevrolets."

"It requires a very unusual mind to undertake the analysis of the obvious."

"Art is the indespensible medium for the communication of a moral idea."

"The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work."

"France is like a great compass, which ever way they point to, go the complete opposite direction and you'll be fine."

"Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief, or ignorance."

"If you can really laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall,people will think you're drunk."